Remember this painting?

It just hit me out of the blue that the commissioner still hasn't paid for it.
Unfortunately, the only way I can contact the commissioner is through her daughter, my close friend Bec.
Bec doesn't want to pass on any messages, contradictory to what we agreed on earlier..... which she has obviously forgotten.

So, once again I have put in an effort, worked through the night with screams and threats thrown at me to the point that I was crying most of the time. (we where in the process of moving and where leaving the very next day)
But, despite all of my hard work, a painting has left me and the money hasn't been received.
The main thing that bothers me is that my friend blatantly refuses to pass the message on that I haven't been paid yet.
It really bothers me, I feel like I've been used and then, someone who I thought was a close friend has betrayed me.
It's not a nice feeling.
Doing that painting took away a night that i will never get back, it caused arguments to arise and I have nothing to show for my hard work.


In other news, the person who is holding the painting (on the other side of the country) is saying that he loves it and that it brightens up his rather dull room.
It's nice, because I really wanted to create something to bring a little bit of colour into someone else's life. Being back stabbed is a downer, but knowing that Gani appreciates what I put into that paining makes it allot better.
Fuck, I miss him so much. He said he would come to visit some time, i'm really looking forward to it!

Anyways, all I wanted was for someone to love that painting and thats happened. I don't care about the money (although it would help allot, I'm sick of borrowing from my parents to pay for collage!).
I do care that Bec has failed to rise up when I needed her, this whole thing is more than just an unfortunate ending for a painting, it may very well be an ending of a friendship.
Bec has let me down plently of times, but I know how much she has been though so I try to just shrug it off because I know that all of my bad experiences couldn't even begin to add up to her unfortunate past... but i'm sick of listening and never being listened to. I can't talk to her when i'm down, because the conversation will always go back to her problems.
Her problems are worse than mine, but that doesn't make mine worthless.









I just don't think I can talk to her after realizing all of this.... I wouldn't seem right pretending that it doesn't bother me.








I've tried to talk to her plenty of times, but half the time I get a one worded response and a change of subject. A sentence or two if I'm lucky.


Bec, if you're reading this. I don't want to talk about it, I've already said enough in this journal. Sure, theres more but i'll save it for another time....
Now that you know whats going on in my head I wouldn't remind a response.