for those who read my last journal:
Becs not talking to me, she's decided i'm to much of a selfish bitch.
But i'm kind of relieved, I don't have the guts to tell a friend that I don't want to be contacted by them anymore. I'm to afraid that I misunderstood what they said and end up losing someone worthwhile.

I saw korn a while back. I don't think I mentioned it.
Tafe is grand, I just finished my major assignment today so I'm free of the large assignments until next Monday.

I just turned 18 last weekend, I live away from my family so I'm waiting on a time to get the rest of my presents. it was a nice day. Anthony took me out for dinner and a movie, I had my hair cut a little bit and treated. We hung out at rundal mall for a while and had tones of fun just hanging out and being silly.
That weekend I went to Murray Bridge to visit my family and had my first legal drinks among the people I love the most Mum, Dad, Pat, Ceara, Lionel, Sean and Anthony. Mark and James where there as well. James is awesome and should marry my sister this very moment!
It was only small, with familly and frinds but it was great fun. All of the guys ended up having a boxing-match and *someone* drew blood. Kinda sad but funny. good times.
I'm glad I didn't have a huge piss-up, I wouldn't have all of these great memories

So I am 18 now.
I haven't had an official celebration for friends yet, but I plan on going out with Jaunay (red) as soon as my 18+ card arrives.

Remember this painting?

It just hit me out of the blue that the commissioner still hasn't paid for it.
Unfortunately, the only way I can contact the commissioner is through her daughter, my close friend Bec.
Bec doesn't want to pass on any messages, contradictory to what we agreed on earlier..... which she has obviously forgotten.

So, once again I have put in an effort, worked through the night with screams and threats thrown at me to the point that I was crying most of the time. (we where in the process of moving and where leaving the very next day)
But, despite all of my hard work, a painting has left me and the money hasn't been received.
The main thing that bothers me is that my friend blatantly refuses to pass the message on that I haven't been paid yet.
It really bothers me, I feel like I've been used and then, someone who I thought was a close friend has betrayed me.
It's not a nice feeling.
Doing that painting took away a night that i will never get back, it caused arguments to arise and I have nothing to show for my hard work.


In other news, the person who is holding the painting (on the other side of the country) is saying that he loves it and that it brightens up his rather dull room.
It's nice, because I really wanted to create something to bring a little bit of colour into someone else's life. Being back stabbed is a downer, but knowing that Gani appreciates what I put into that paining makes it allot better.
Fuck, I miss him so much. He said he would come to visit some time, i'm really looking forward to it!

Anyways, all I wanted was for someone to love that painting and thats happened. I don't care about the money (although it would help allot, I'm sick of borrowing from my parents to pay for collage!).
I do care that Bec has failed to rise up when I needed her, this whole thing is more than just an unfortunate ending for a painting, it may very well be an ending of a friendship.
Bec has let me down plently of times, but I know how much she has been though so I try to just shrug it off because I know that all of my bad experiences couldn't even begin to add up to her unfortunate past... but i'm sick of listening and never being listened to. I can't talk to her when i'm down, because the conversation will always go back to her problems.
Her problems are worse than mine, but that doesn't make mine worthless.









I just don't think I can talk to her after realizing all of this.... I wouldn't seem right pretending that it doesn't bother me.








I've tried to talk to her plenty of times, but half the time I get a one worded response and a change of subject. A sentence or two if I'm lucky.


Bec, if you're reading this. I don't want to talk about it, I've already said enough in this journal. Sure, theres more but i'll save it for another time....
Now that you know whats going on in my head I wouldn't remind a response.

The holidays are almost over and I still haven't been able to find a art-store that stocks 60x25 inch canvasses! If anyone knows a place in Adelaide that has them/will order them in please tell me I really-really need one.




In other news
I recently joined REDbubble. A site for painters, photographers, designers and models alike, this site offers a humble alternative to Deviantart or Flickr.

It's submission process is much easier than DA's and you don't have to rummage through a dozen sub categories every time you wish to submit something new.
It's layout is simple and easy on the eye.
Everything looks clean, inspirational and glamorous 24/7. I especially love how the nutural background doesn't clash with the images.


Take a look at the site and, if you like it, it's your choice if you want to join or not.
If you do make an account, I'll see you there.

I saw korn perform two nights ago along with:
Bloodsimple
Throwdown
Chimera
Biohazard

The night was HOT!
Being abandoned in the city after all of the public transport had stopped for the night.... was NOT.

Many thanks to who saved Anthony and I from a cold night on the streets.
Luff you big-sister!